PSA: Just Say No to Outdoor Carpet

Disclaimer: This post has absolutely zero pretty "after" pictures. These are all befores, folks.

In the name of anonymity, I've tried to keep some details of my life a secret here. Granted, I've literally shown you the inside of my bedroom, dirty laundry and all, but I'd really hate for that one reader I have in Belgium to know every little detail of my personal life. Discretion, people.

Anyway, for those of you who may not know, I happen to have a day job that rhymes with spinglish beacher, from which I get an entire week off during spring break (My spellcheck just had a stroke). This year, I managed to convince Justin to take the week off with me. I wooed him with visions of trips to the zoo with Buggy Boy on bright, sunny days and afternoons spent sipping beer on the golf course. 

Enter reality. The first three days or so were beautiful, and we actually did make it to the zoo. And then it rained. And the temperature dropped. And we decided mid-week that, rather than relax for the rest of our staycation, we should use our remaining four days to tackle a ginormous house project complete with a respirator mask, a 16 foot diy outdoor sectional, and 12,000 trips to the hardware store. 

Totally legit. 

Here's a before shot of our screened-in porch. It's a perfect example of our home: huge with tons of potential, but a seriously hot mess to begin with.

Here's Justin, taping off where the furniture will eventually go and marking where the built-in bench supports should be installed. I believe the words "This is gonna be easy" actually came out of his mouth. That should have been our first clue. 

Side note: See how he's lining up the supports with the posts that run up to the ceiling? See the quiet wisdom in his eyes and the subtle confidence in his demeanor? It's because he thinks those are the studs. They are not. It took him over an hour to install the supports and the bench boards, sit on one of the boards, quickly discover it was supported by nothing, remove everything and start all over after finding the actual studs. Buggy Boy and I felt terrible about the whole thing while we ate Goldfish crackers and watched from the living room. Then we took a nap. It was exhausting.

In case you're wondering, yes, that is in fact carpet in our sun porch. Because apparently the people who built our house believed carpet belongs anywhere there is liquid, dirt, food, or bodily fluids. 

Can I just say on the record that outdoor carpet is a bad idea?

Thirty eight years of rain, snow, kids and dogs + a bum door that won't stay closed = a thick layer of mold, dirt and leaves. 

Just say no, people. 

(Hands off, ladies. He's all mine.)

 And here we are today:

Right now, it mostly looks like a construction zone. But, we finally got rid of that nasty carpet, and it instantly looked better. Justin already built a dining table and a bench that runs along the entire perimeter of the porch, and he's in the process of building a diy sectional. 

I know what you're thinking, but don't worry. This is a team effort, and I'm helping, too. I designed the sectional based on some cushions I found on sale. Then I waited too long to order them, the sale ended, and I ordered different ones that no longer fit the sectional. If you look closely, you can see where Justin had to build an addition to both sides of the sectional to accommodate the larger cushions. It took him an entire day. See? Teamwork.

Please also note the cracked foundation, which runs right down the center of the entire porch. We checked, and it would cost thousands of dollars to have it fixed. The porch is a separate slab from the house foundation, so it isn't structural. We've decided to live with it for now, but it's made building a gigantic wooden sectional in place super exciting and challenging (Read: we've considered burning the whole thing down on more than one occasion.) 

We still have lots of work to do, including having the entire house (porch included) stained a weathered gray color. I can't wait to see the finished product!

That's all for now, but I'll be posting updates as they come. Stay tuned!